5 mental models that have changed my life

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The way we see the world determines the choices available to us.

Most people don't realize they're viewing reality through a specific lens - one that limits what they perceive as possible.

Mental models are these lenses. Change the model, change what you see.

These five have transformed how I navigate decisions, relationships, and the inevitable complications of being human:

1. The Map is not the Territory

Thursday afternoon. Boston. Pouring rain.

I'm following Google Maps to an important meeting when suddenly the app sends me directly into a construction zone that wasn't on any map.

My phone insists I'm standing in the middle of an open street.

Reality disagrees.

This perfectly captures the "map is not the territory" model: Every framework, belief system, and theory is just a representation of reality, not reality itself.

This applies everywhere:

• The business plan isn't the business

• The relationship advice isn't the relationship

• The diet philosophy isn't your body

• The productivity system isn't the work

When there's a conflict between the map and the territory, the territory is always right.

This mental model has saved me countless arguments. When someone sees things differently, I no longer assume they're wrong. I just recognize we're using different maps of the same territory.

Practical application: When something isn't working despite "following all the rules," ask: "What might be true about this territory that isn't captured on my map?"

2. Circle of Competence

"Know what you know and know what you don't know."

This mental model, favored by Warren Buffett, has saved me from more bad decisions than any other.

We all have areas where our knowledge is deep and areas where it's shallow but we think it's deep. The latter is where disasters happen.

I learned this the expensive way after investing in a friend's restaurant because "how hard could the restaurant business be?"

Very hard, it turns out. Shockingly hard.

Now, before making any significant decision, I ask:

• Is this within my circle of competence?

• If not, am I getting advice from someone whose circle of competence includes this?

• Am I mistaking information for expertise?

The most dangerous knowledge isn't what you don't know—it's what you incorrectly think you know.

Practical application: List three areas where you have genuine expertise and three where you have only surface knowledge but make decisions as if you were an expert.

3. Thought Experiment: "Advice to a Friend"

Why is it so much easier to see the right path for a friend than for ourselves?

When tangled in emotional decisions, I use this simple thought experiment:

"If a friend came to me with exactly this situation, what would I tell them?"

The clarity this creates is immediate and sometimes uncomfortable.

Recently, I was considering a project that offered good money but was misaligned with my values. When stuck in deliberation, I applied the friend test.

The advice was instant: "Don't compromise your values for a paycheck. That path leads to resentment."

To myself, I was weighing factors and making excuses. To a hypothetical friend, I was clear and direct.

Practical application: Next time you're stuck in a difficult personal decision, write out the exact situation as if a friend were experiencing it, then write your advice to them.

4. Inversion

Most of us approach problems directly: "How can I be successful?" "How can I be happy?" "How can I build a great company?"

Inversion flips the question: "What would guarantee failure?" "What would make me miserable?" "What would destroy this company?"

Then you do the opposite.

This approach cuts through fuzzy thinking by identifying the clearly wrong moves.

For writing, instead of asking "How do I write well?" I ask, "What makes writing unbearable to read?" This gives me a checklist of concrete things to avoid.

For relationships, rather than the vague "How can I be a good partner?" I consider "What behaviors would make me a terrible partner?" Much clearer guidance emerges.

Inversion creates a roadmap of landmines to avoid rather than an abstract destination to reach.

Practical application: Take a current goal and invert it. List everything that would guarantee failure, then ensure you're not doing those things.

5. Regret Minimization

When facing major life decisions, I use Jeff Bezos's mental model: the Regret Minimization Framework.

Bezos created this when deciding whether to leave his comfortable job to start Amazon. He imagined himself at age 80, looking back on his life.

From that perspective, which decision would minimize regret?

This shifts the question from "What's the safe choice?" to "What choice will I be proud of when I'm old?"

I've applied this to career pivots, relationship decisions, and even creative risks.

The perspective of your future self cuts through short-term fears and social pressures.

Most regrets come not from failures but from actions never taken, voices never raised, paths never explored.

Practical application: Visualize yourself at 80 years old. For your current major decision, which path would that older, wiser you urge you to take?

Mental Models as Superpowers

These aren't just clever ideas. They're alternative operating systems for your mind.

Each reveals options invisible to those using conventional thinking.

The real power comes not from collecting these models but from applying them when you need them most. The quiet moment before a decision is the perfect time to consider which lens might reveal what you are missing.

To clearer thinking,

Raihan | Mindful Maven