Some of my favourite ideas from The Psychology Book

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Human behavior is weird.

We think we're rational, but we consistently make predictable irrational choices. We think we understand others, but we constantly misinterpret their actions. We think we know ourselves, but we're often surprised by our own reactions.

Psychology helps explain the "why" behind these contradictions. Here are some ideas that clicked for me:

The Paradox of Choice

More options should make us happier, right?

Barry Schwartz's research reveals the opposite: too many choices create anxiety, decision paralysis, and regret.

The grocery store aisle with 47 varieties of cereal doesn't liberate us—it overwhelms us.

This explains why some of the most creative people impose artificial constraints on themselves. The painter who uses only three colors. The writer who sets a strict word limit. The entrepreneur who deliberately narrows their focus.

Constraints aren't limitations—they're freedom from the tyranny of infinite possibility.

When facing too many options, the solution isn't better decision-making. It's better option elimination.

The Fundamental Attribution Error

When someone cuts you off in traffic, you assume they're a reckless person.

When you cut someone off in traffic, it's because you're late for an important meeting.

We judge others by their actions but ourselves by our intentions.

This cognitive bias destroys relationships and creates unnecessary conflict. We're constantly attributing malice where there might simply be circumstance.

The person who's always late isn't necessarily disrespectful—they might struggle with time estimation.

The colleague who seems antisocial might be dealing with personal challenges you can't see.

The customer who's rude to service workers might be having the worst day of their year.

This doesn't excuse poor behavior, but it creates space for understanding before judgment.

Most human "flaws" are situational, not character-based.

The Zeigarnik Effect

Bluma Zeigarnik discovered something fascinating: we remember incomplete tasks more vividly than completed ones.

Your brain treats unfinished business like an open loop, constantly using mental energy to keep track of what's undone.

This is why:

• You can't stop thinking about the project you started but didn't finish

• Cliffhangers in TV shows feel so compelling

• Making a to-do list immediately reduces mental stress

• Procrastination is mentally exhausting

The solution isn't to finish everything immediately—it's to externalize your open loops.

Write them down. Set specific times to revisit them. Close the mental loops by creating external systems.

Your brain can focus on what matters when it trusts that nothing important will be forgotten.

The Mere Exposure Effect

Familiarity breeds liking, not contempt.

Robert Zajonc proved that simply being exposed to something repeatedly makes us prefer it, even when we don't consciously remember the exposure.

This explains:

• Why radio hits grow on you after multiple listens

• How arranged marriages can develop into deep love

• Why some people become more attractive the more you know them

• How brands use repetition to build preference

But it also reveals something profound about personal change: the new version of yourself will feel strange at first, simply because it's unfamiliar.

Starting a workout routine feels awkward, not because you're bad at it, but because it's new.

Speaking up in meetings feels uncomfortable,e not because you lack value to add, but because you're not used to being heard.

Living differently requires patience with the unfamiliarity, knowing that comfort comes with repetition.

The Spotlight Effect

You're convinced everyone noticed your embarrassing mistake in the meeting.

Actually, most people weren't paying attention at all.

Thomas Gilovich's research on the spotlight effect shows we dramatically overestimate how much others notice our appearance, mistakes, and behaviors.

This imaginary spotlight keeps us paralyzed by self-consciousness when most people are too busy worrying about their own spotlight to notice ours.

The fear of judgment is often the fear of a judgment that isn't happening.

This liberates you to:

• Take more risks because fewer people are watching than you think

• Worry less about small social mistakes because they're quickly forgotten

• Focus on your actual goals instead of managing others' imaginary opinions

Most of the audience isn't watching. And those who are? They forget faster than you think.

The Peak-End Rule

People judge experiences primarily by two moments: the peak (most intense point) and the end.

Daniel Kahneman's research shows that duration matters much less than we expect.

A painful medical procedure that ends gently is remembered more positively than one that's shorter but ends abruptly.

A vacation with one amazing day and a smooth departure is remembered better than a longer trip that ends with flight delays.

This has profound implications:

For experiences you design: Focus on creating memorable peaks and smooth endings rather than optimizing total duration.

For difficult situations: If you must endure something challenging, pay special attention to how it concludes.

For relationships: The way you end conversations and interactions matters more than their length.

How something ends often determines how it's remembered.

The Practical Wisdom

These aren't just interesting facts about human psychology—they're tools for designing a better life.

Understanding the paradox of choice helps you eliminate decision fatigue.

Recognizing attribution error improves your relationships.

Knowing about the Zeigarnik effect helps you manage mental energy.

The mere exposure effect gives you patience with change.

The spotlight effect frees you from imaginary judgment.

The peak-end rule helps you craft memorable experiences.

Psychology reveals that many of our struggles aren't personal flaws—they're predictable human patterns that can be understood and worked with rather than against.

The most valuable insights often come not from trying to fight human nature, but from understanding it well enough to design around it.

To understanding the mind,

Raihan | Mindful Maven