The 3 types of people in your life

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Today at a Glance:

• Framework: Why relationships disappoint you

• Insight: The leaf, branch, root system

• Tool: A simple relationship audit

• Reality check: Not everyone is meant to stay

• Quote: Something worth remembering

Why relationships constantly disappoint you

Most people have this backwards.

They think relationship disappointment happens because they chose the wrong people or because they're bad at maintaining friendships.

Actually, disappointment happens because we expect the wrong things from different types of people.

Everyone in your life falls into one of three categories: Leaf People, Branch People, or Root People.

The framework is simple. The implications change everything about how you approach relationships.

The three types | Explained

Leaf People
These are seasonal relationships. They come into your life for a specific purpose—maybe you work together on a project, live in the same dorm, or meet during a particular life phase. They take what they need (companionship, networking, mutual benefit) and naturally fade when that season ends.

This isn't malicious. It's human. We all serve as leaf people in some relationships.

Branch People
These seem more solid than leaf people. They stick around through good times and minor challenges. Great for celebrations, casual hangouts, and surface-level support. But they break under real pressure. When you face serious problems or need significant emotional labor, they become scarce.

Branch people want the benefits of friendship without the costs of true commitment.

Root People
Rare and precious. These people stay connected to who you are, regardless of circumstances. They don't just tolerate your difficult seasons—they help you through them. They support your goals, tell you hard truths, and remain consistent even when you can't give much back.

Root people choose to stay, not because they have to, but because they value the connection.

How to identify each type

Watch what happens during different situations:

During good times: All three types are usually present and supportive.

During minor challenges: Leaf people start becoming less available. Branch and root people remain present.

During major difficulties: Only root people consistently show up. Branch people find excuses or become overwhelmed by your needs.

During your success: Leaf people may return hoping to benefit. Branch people celebrate easily. Root people feel genuinely happy for you without jealousy.

The key insight: You can't determine someone's type during good times. True category reveals itself under pressure.

The relationship audit

Here's a simple exercise worth doing:

List the last five people you reached out to when something good happened in your life.
Now list the last five people you reached out to when something bad happened.

How much overlap is there?

The people who appear on both lists are likely your root people. The people who only appear on the good news list are probably branch or leaf people.

This isn't about judgment—it's about appropriate expectations.

Ask yourself:

• Am I expecting leaf people to be roots?

• Am I depending on branch people for support they can't provide?

• Am I investing enough in my root relationships?

• What type of person am I to others?

Why this framework matters

Understanding these categories prevents relationship disappointment.

When you recognize someone as a leaf person, you can enjoy their temporary presence without expecting permanence. When you identify branch people, you can appreciate their fair-weather friendship without depending on them during storms.

This framework also helps you recognize and properly invest in root people. These relationships deserve your best effort, deepest trust, and most genuine care.

It's not about eliminating certain types of relationships. Your social ecosystem needs variety. Leaf people bring fresh perspectives. Branch people provide social connection. Root people offer stability.

The goal is knowing the difference and responding accordingly.

A tool for better relationships

The 3-Question Filter

Before expecting significant support from someone, ask:

1. Have they been consistent across different seasons of our relationship?

2. Do they invest in this relationship when they're not getting immediate benefits?

3. How do they respond when I need something that costs them time or emotional energy?

Their answers tell you which category they belong to.

Something worth remembering

From Maya Angelou:

"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time."

But here's the addition: When people show you what type of relationship they're capable of, believe that too.

Not everyone can be a root person, and that's okay. Not every relationship needs to be deep to be valuable.

The wisdom is in recognizing what each relationship actually is rather than what you wish it could be.

Your root people are your true wealth. Treat them accordingly.

Until next time,

Raihan | Mindful Maven